Dinosaurs...Rarrrrr!

So Graeme and I have had dinosaurs on the brain lately. We recently got asked to join a book club and it just so happened our first book was Jurassic Park. I had always heard it was a good book and I have to agree with what I heard, it was in fact a really good read. It was hard to sleep some nights because I just wanted to finish the next chapter and see who survived the chaos of that chapter. For those movie fanatics out there, the book is quite a bit different (which more often than not has to be the case when converting something to film) and I have to say far more interesting. 

When we finished the book we were curious to watch the movie again, because the last time I saw it I think was around 15 (Graeme would like it known he was about 7 the last time he saw it...he probably had dinorsaur sheets then too!). So we got it from Netflix (even though it was different than book it was still pretty fun to watch) and after that were even more curious to watch the second installment which we had both seen in portion, but never in its entirety. It wasn't half bad, something tells me the book was probably better.

Now we are waiting for the third installment which has no book attached to it, so my expectations are high (and plus I have heard it is an overall better movie than the second). So here is hoping for some fun entertainment and great special effects while packing for our Montana weekend!

Enjoy the photos below; the delicious treats you see displayed are Graeme's fun creations for our book club. Since snacks were aimed to be "Jurassic Park" themed Graeme took the liberty of having some fun it, while creating his own amazing pumpkin spice cupcake recipe...I am so fortunate to have a husband who enjoys being in the kitchen. :)

My How Time Flies...

I can't believe how long it has been since I last wrote a blog...I guess when it comes to planning a wedding, holding a full time job down, and learning our United States immigrations laws, it takes time away from my creative thoughts.

Last week Graeme and I had one of our last big hurdles to jump, our immigration interview. It looked a little something like this...

We showed up to the federal building at 8am, got through security, and found our way to the room filled with about 75 other hopefuls that they would be granted residency. I think I re-read the same paragraph in Jurassic Park about 12 times; just sitting in this room people watching and watching all the interviewees come and go calling out names was truly so interesting. An hour later our name was called and we were escorted through a door and down a long hallway. Our interviewee was really nice and that made us feel a little less nervous and then we walked into his office which had a big window with a lot of light coming through (and for whatever reason the window was a nice little comfort, the ability to see outside and not feel trapped).

He proceeded to go through our photo album that we had created that week of our life from the last year and then through the book Grae had made for the proposal. He made a few nice comments and then proceeded to tell us he needed to write up a few things that would just take him a few minutes. A minute into his typing he asked us what we had done that weekend (I laughed in my head for how subtle the question it was and that he was trying to find any issues with our relationship). We explained that we had hung out with several friends, went to a pumpkin patch, and invited friends over to watch the rugby game. He kept typing and then made the comment that Grae's birthday was coming up and what were we planning on doing for that. So we explained how we invited friends to go bowling, maybe a movie after, then the two of us were going to do a dinner later in the week. That was it. Two questions to test the validity of our relationship.

A few minutes later he handed us two pieces of paper and congratulated us on our conditional green card. Woot! Conditional just means he has his green card for two years when we have to refile, show more evidence of our relationship, and then he gets his more permanent green card. Then a year after that he is able to become a citizen; but I am getting a head of myself. For now he has his green card and we are thrilled!

So that's a bit of our world right now. His birthday is tomorrow and it will be fun to celebrate with friends and then his job hunt will continue. So many possibilities, but we are both praying that the right door opens up and truly is the best fit for his creativity. All in good time.

More blogs to come...I am feeling that creative edge again which is nice. I am off to New Orleans for work next week; I am sure there will be plenty of stories to share about that!

Our Long Lost Refrigerator Shelf

This shelf you see above you is a beloved piece in our household these days and let me tell you why.


Graeme and I were given some great advice when we found out that we had to buy our fridge for our apartment and that was to go to the  Sears outlet. Given that this is our first apartment and nothing super special except that it is our first place together we weren't wanting to spend heaps on a fridge and the outlet was the perfect place to buy a discounted brand new fridge. Graeme and I went the day he landed from New Zealand and picked out what would be a our new fridge. It arrived on the day we scheduled and the guys who brought it were super nice and very helpful. However, about 4 hours after having the fridge delivered and we started to put items in the fridge we discovered this shelf was missing.

We called Sears and they were more than willing to send us the shelf, which we were ecstatic about. A couple of days later a few boxes from Sears arrived and to our surprise. As we opened them we discovered they had sent every other shelf possible for our fridge except the one that was missing. We called Sears again and spoke with several people until we were handed off to a manager who said they would send the shelf, but it would take about a week; again not a huge problem. About two weeks later we got a note on our door after returning from a night out and it was letting us know they had left a package on our back porch, but to do so you have to throw it over a fence. Graeme walks out onto our back porch and opened up the box to find the correct shelf, but a broken shelf :( Needless to say this process was getting old and we wondered how long Sears was going to believe our stories.

Graeme ended up calling Sears asking for the same manager we spoke to the last time and explained the whole situation, while sending an e-mail with a photo of the broken shelf. The manager explained that the shelf was on back order and we would be receiving it in about 4 weeks. Ok, so by this time we have gotten around not having this shelf, but we both realized how nice it would be to have the extra space, but we are both patient, so obviously we were willing to wait 4 weeks (and like we really had a choice!).

So now that leads us to last week, our shelf arrives and we open the box, hopeful and excited to reorganize our kitchen (exciting I know!). We open the box and the shelf is...BROKEN! We just laugh, because this is just our luck and life right now.

We decide at this point that we had to just go into the Sears outlet and ask them for a shelf from one of their fridges on the floor. Upon arrival, we explain our situation and they are happy to help and give us a new shelf. They explain that these are the new shelves, because they are more sturdy and less likely to break. Hooray! Works for us! So we head home and go to put the shelf in and realize it is about 4 inches too long! So...we head back to the outlet and find a fridge that matches ours, take the shelf out, explain the situation to one of the employees and hand them the shelf that does not fit, and on our way we go.

Which leads us to the picture below :) 2 months later, about a dozen e-mails between Sears and us, and several UPS packages; we now have a shelf that fits perfectly and more room in our fridge than we could have ever hoped for!

Graeme and I have truly been on an adventure of a lifetime just these last 2 months and this was probably the less serious of our adventures, but it made us laugh a lot and I think showed us both that we are able to make the most of each situation! I think our last moments dealing with this situation made us laugh the most; the fact that this is probably a constant cycle in the Sears Outlet arena, because now their is a fridge that is missing a shelf that some poor customers are going to buy and get it home and realize that they are missing a shelf. Here is hoping though some nice Sears employee notices, replaces the shelf before it is purchased and taken home, and the cycle ends with us.

Word of advice if you are buying a fridge from any retailer...make sure all your shelves are there before you haul it away from the store or the delivery guys leave your place! Learn from us and save yourselves a 2 month mini headache! :)

A Sneak Peek

It was an incredibly fun day with Aaron Young, felt more like we were goofing off than it did taking photos, but he happens to be that good. Looking forward to August even more now!

Adventures While I Was Sick

I can't remember the last time I had a fever, but I can tell you the most recent time I got one...two weeks ago. Graeme quickly got to experience the portion of "in sickness" when it came to our vows. He was incredible just in the most simple of ways, bringing me ice, making sure I was drinking tons of fluids, and making sure I was taking my antibiotic; he did this while all prepping for our train ride north to celebrate Father's Day and my Dad's birthday.

Below I documented our train ride adventure (and a big accomplishment for Graeme!), even with still not feeling 100% we made the most of it...

Getting settled in for the seven hour journey

Yay! Healthy enough to travel up North!

 Oranges in Glendale

 Strawberry fields in Oxnard

 Middle of nowhere

 Thank you lollies from Amtrak

Grae passed his first of two licenses tests! Woohoo!

Here's hoping we don't have to experience the "in sickness" part for a few more years. I am truly getting a chance to realize how sweet and yet very trying marriage can be. I am looking forward to having our wedding in August with our family and friends present, especially when Graeme and I share our vows that we have written for one another...they are going to be filled with so much more than they would have been in May, which I think will make them so much sweeter and meaningful.

Change of Heart

So I had big plans to blog my last month of singlehood, but alas those plans got side lined for other plans of moving, preparing, and organizing my family to be together for what will be one of two wedding ceremonies for Graeme and I, and a list that goes on...

Over the years I have had some huge leaps in regards to changes of the heart. In my childhood and part of my teenage years I grew up believing my prince charming would come and I would be in love forever. Then my later teenage years through young adult I didn't really believe a good love existed for me. Everyone around me seemed to have found it or their version of it, but my "loves" seemed to miss the mark in my life. 

Then I became single my sophomore year of college. I gave up someone I loved and took the risk of knowing I could be alone for the rest of my life. Throughout the six years of my singleness I had some great guys come along and refresh my memory that a good love could exist, but none that could persuade me to take that leap...to risk everything including the most exposed and slightly jaded parts of my heart. 

Then along came Graeme. 

He is different in every way possible and yet he was and is a good enough and loving enough man to push through my "rejection" of him and persuade me and pursue me to be his. Convincing me that his love was not wavering or judgmental; but a love that is a patient and kind, a love that would tell me the truth and the whole truth. A love that never gives up or walks away. 

Tomorrow before God and the government I will sign away Giacomantonio and become Swift. The day has arrived where I take one of the biggest risks of my life and become one to another. While taking this risk and loving God I will learn to love Graeme more and better than I do currently. Tomorrow I will become his wife legally and in August we will get to celebrate again this risk we have taken and what a true celebration it will be!

Graeme David I love with you with all that God has given me. You are truly the best help mate I could have asked for and I am eternally grateful that you are the one I get to travel this crazy adventure with!

I Can't Stop Watching

Something about this just moves me in such a way that I can't help but tear up inside...probably because I see so much of myself in it.

Blustery Day...

This feels a bit like our house right now. Thank goodness we don't live in a tree though! 

Hugs...

H- Hope. It is the well spring of life, it gives us something to cling to and remind us that there is still good in this life and the situations we face on a daily basis.

U- Understanding of others. Each of us has a different path to walk, we cross each other's paths along the way and because of that it makes this journey of life so much more fun and possible to walk. We don't have to walk alone, but we take the time to step outside of ourselves and think of others; it creates this beautiful domino effect.

G- Grace. It's a gift to be given and there is truly something refreshing about it when we are the ones to receive it.

S- Strength. That no matter what this life may hand us we can get through. We are pretty incredibly made and what we can take on always astounds me. Like hearing about my friend whose husband of one year has been shipped off to the Middle East for another tour of duty, my great Aunt knocking at every health organization's door to provide a solution to her very sick husband, new parents being told that their newborn baby is going to life threatening issues throughout his whole life. Strength to make it through no matter what.

I'm missing Graeme right now. It really can be the littlest thing that triggers it. The reality that I think I haven't felt more alone than I do right now. God and my journal are probably the ones who know me the best at this moment. It's a season of transition and not really having a place to call my own. It takes me back to my freshman year of college and those monumental first few weeks...transitional weeks of a small town girl trying to figure out her way in a "big city" on a "big campus". Now it's still the small town girl trying to find her way in this "big world" walking into a new "big adventure".

So, if you happen to see me a hug is most welcome. It's a sweet reminder that everything is going to be ok.

The First Piece of Good News

Approval comes in many forms...this was the highlight of my February...

 This little letter holds what we like to call "approval" of your fiance visa application! My reaction is one for the record books (or so my roommate tells me). Graeme was the one to tell me which was the best way to find out.

He had been checking the government site for months now and on the night of our date night, he happened to check one more time. Approved had been filled in. We were approved! He called, didn't even wait for me to get on skype, he just called (and I love him for it). He told me he had news and I got three guesses. I thought about saying the approval of our application, but then again it was too soon. I had set myself up to be waiting another two more months for this approval (because it had already been extended another two months previously). I guessed it any ways, because I still had hope. I screamed (and startled my roommate in the process). Then I got up and walked to the kitchen still joyful, but silently cried at the same time. It was just a natural reaction to release what had been building up inside; finally to have some good news. Some reward to the waiting.

I have had a couple people ask me if we are doing marriage counseling and we have worked through a couple books and sought the council of some pastors; but can I just say that what Graeme and I are experiencing in these months is by far some of the best council that anyone could have leading towards marriage. The patience, communication, being better at arguing, listening, loving when you can't touch; they are incredible lessons to learn before entering into marriage.

Now, we wait for Graeme's interview to be able to receive his fiance visa, we wait to book his flight over, we wait to plan a wedding, we wait. But with one big milestone it doesn't feel like such a long wait after all. 

I love you Graeme and I am here waiting and will continue to wait through whatever storm, government agency, flight delay God would have us go through. Here's to celebrating the rest of the approvals we need in order to be together again!

So Many Exciting Things to Share...

and they will come...this weekend when I have tons of time to write!

How exciting a weekend to write, read, and watch a movie or two! Yay!

It's the simple things in life folks :) When you're waiting on the BIG stuff you learn to enjoy the smallest of pleasures.

Waiting on Approval

I find the title appropriate for so many aspects of my life lately...waiting on approval from family and the choices I have made, waiting on approval from those I report up to at work that what I am doing is good enough and exactly what they were looking for, waiting on approval to marry the man I love. But really I think the first two are ones I am just going to have to let go and realize that who Heidi is and what she brings to the table is enough and it is good. My choices have been my choices and yes when I am was in high school, college, and now part of my adult life I have made some poor ones (but who hasn't!?). So whether my family approves or not I am making my own way in this life the best way I believe God has given me. The second, well all I can do is put my best foot forward each day and trust that what I bring to the table is enough whether I hear about it or not.

The last one I can't quite let go that easily. I am struggling with this one. I get that there are laws in place for certain reasons, but it is hard when it separates you from that one person who gets you more than any other person on this planet.

So about 3 weeks ago we got told that our early spring wedding was probably not going to take place because for whatever reason paperwork isn't moving as fast as they had hoped and it would and it would just be cutting it too close for Graeme to get here. It's like being told Christmas is on the 25th, but then oh wait we have to change it this year to February 25th for technical difficulties. Thankfully, after the tears had been wiped away and the ache of disappointment subsided, the date was able to move and all the vendors were able to work with the new date. But I still carry this disappoint with me.

I get asked periodically how I am doing (and I am so thankful that people care enough to ask), but to be able to answer honestly it's a lot and I also know it's a lot for people to take on. So I come up with a "fine...making lemonade of lemons" kind of statement and hope that is enough to have them nod and tell me how sorry they are and he'll be here soon response (which again...the fact that people even take the time to ask is wonderful in and of itself). Still makes me feel as though I am standing alone on dance floor as everyone has coupled up and has begun to dance to a song that I don't know, let alone the steps.

Because of this I am practicing my own dance...not caring who watches or thinks I am doing it wrong because it's my dance. My dance to hold me over till I get that approval that makes life just a tad bit sweeter.

Our First Pet

Update: so Graeme decided to actually go celebrate with Buddy...went and took him his very first cupcake...he's the best :)

Below is Graeme and my first pet, a pet squid we named Buddy and today is his first birthday!

We ended up "finding" Buddy because when I was down in New Zealand last year I wanted to go view this colossal squid that was on display because it had been caught on my birthday while living there and I had found the whole story behind it so fascinating. So Graeme so kindly put up with me and went along for the adventure!

I don't really like squids, but seeing this one and learning a bit more about them was truly a fun and enlightening experince.

Anyways, all of that to say Happy Birthday Buddy! You have been a great pet squid!

Safe

I think I am on a kick with lyrics lately...they just do a much better of job of expressing what it is that I want to, but can't.

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong he'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

~Safe; Phil Wickham 

Tis the Season

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah


~Hallelujah; Susan Boyle

Road Map Through Life

When talking with my friends about my life, I have always explained that I tend to look for others that have a similar story line going, because that way I will know how things turn out. Now obviously this is a silly way to go through life, because the reality is my life will never quite look like theirs. It will look like mine and therefore I am going to have to trust the steps that I take to be ones that propel me forward not backwards.

Lately, I am making a lot of forward steps, so much so that everything seems new, there is no familiarity, and there are no signs that anyone around me has walked this road to give me a glimmer of hope that was is to come is well worth it. I can talk a good game of change and like I have written here so many times, change can be such a great thing and like a breath of refresh air, but when it happens all it once, in every aspect of my life I can't help but get scared just a little.

I had a good conversation with God about this just this morning. It started off with me apologizing for not writing enough or investing in the relationship like I should, but I knew He understood, because I know that He knows me better than I do, and through this conversation of sorts I came to the conclusion that I get in the way of myself. I know who I am and who I was created to be, so rather than leaning into fear or the road maps of others I must lean into faith and the knowledge of who I am and who I have been created to be. As my life has continued on, I over the years, have been able to pin point my strengths and what I am gifted in, and now I have to start moving in those and walking in that hope that God has given me through them.

I read a lot and I write a lot and because of these two elements I love to know the ending. I think I apply the same perspective to my own life, I want to know how it ends, but for my life's aspect I think a part of that is propelled by fear. So rather than being propelled by fear I must be propelled by joy and learning to live better in the present moments I have been given rather than rushing through the "pages" to discover the ending.

I would have loved at around 15 for God to have given me a road map for where I was supposed to go and the choices I should make, but He loves me more than that. He loved me enough to let me fly and to ultimately have to make the day to day choice to trust Him and trust that I can make the good and sound choices of "right" or "left", staying in Southern California for the first year of marriage or moving to Portland (just an example) :)

This conversation with God won't end today though. I'm still scared, but I know His peace will surpass my fear and that will be enough to get through the next "right" or "left".

Writings to Come

Loads going on in my little world, but I promise that there are stories and thoughts coming this...just have to make some room...

Wanderings of a Mind...

My mind wanders a lot especially in seasons like this. I was so foolish as a child to think that growing pains only occurred between the ages of 11 and 15. 

I tried to prepare myself for what wedding planning would be like ( I think all in all I cared more for what marriage planning would look like rather than wedding planning) and I knew it would look something like this, but I was truly hoping (at least the half glass full Heidi was) that it would be easier. Yes, the idea of getting married on a beach with 10 people around is the ideal in my head, but I also know that for my family and for Graeme and I this is a season to celebrate. 

I wish I could explain it better, these intense feelings, thoughts, and emotions that are running through me, but I can't. I am at a loss for words. I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and love and yet in part walking away from the only life I have ever known. There are still a lot of unknowns ahead and so that gives my mind plenty of room to wander...

If anything this has been a one solid comfort...something to fixate on as my mind wanders...

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable
or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the
truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things." 1 Cor. 13: 4-7

Hope and Love two very powerful elements that I should remember to cling to a bit more tightly these days.

It Really is a Small World

There really is no better way to put it than that. It is a small world.

So Graeme called me up the other night and told me this wild story, but before I share his story let me explain my portion of the story.

When Kristin and I moved to New Zealand in 2006 it took some work getting us there and even figuring out where were were going to live. By choices made in life I had made friends with one of the staff members at Vanguard named Amber, who had a sister who married a Kiwi and was currently living down there. So she gave me Jen's information and Jen and I emailed a bit back and forth. Our e-mails consisted of her telling me about parts of New Zealand and which cities she said would be best to be based out of. She was however partial to Wellington (which is where her and her husband were living). After a few more e-mail exchanges and discussing it with Kristin we decided Wellington was going to be the best fit.

Jen and I, I should mention have never met. She and her husband moved over to Asia right before or after Kristin and I got there and then when she and her husband would come back to New Zealand to visit it was always around the time a time that I was away or traveling.

Because of Jen, I ended up getting connected with a woman named Kellee, who connected me with our soon to be flat mates, who connected me with Arise, where it so happened that I met Graeme.

Now, back to Graeme's story. He was at church sitting on his own and midway through service at some point after finishing a song, the woman next to him leaned over and told him he had a nice singing voice. He said thank you and commented on her American accent. They got into a conversation about he was marrying an American and moving to the states. California to be exact. She said she was from California and he asked what part. She said Costa Mesa. He told her he was moving to Costa Mesa! Come to find out he was sitting next to Jen! The woman that had encouraged my choice of moving to Wellington, the simple act that allowed me to meet some incredible people, one of whom is about to become my husband. In their conversation they were able to make the connections that I was the girl that she had helped out a few years back. And here they sat, two strangers connected by some girl back in California.

It was a big deal to Graeme, but it was an even bigger deal to me. I know these things happen, but they don't happen everyday. It was as though my past and future were colliding and I couldn't be there to witness it.

Jen, I know you will probably never read this. But thank you for your simple act as a stranger. Your simple kindness has truly changed my life for the better.

Can't Sleep...

So the nights when I can't sleep (we'll use tonight as an example) I pull out one of my favorite childhood classics and somehow it has this calming effect and I go straight to sleep. Whether it was because my Mum read to me almost every night when I was a child or just the very act of reading and having to focus on something helps my mind slow down, I am not sure. I have to say though, I find this to be a much better route than counting sheep :)

Goodnight...