Thursday, May 24, 2007


No great thoughts fill this space.
Just me and my time.
My imagination has carried me away.
My circumstances have not overtaken me.
I sit here with my thoughts in my hands.
My mind is somewhere else.
I am caught daydreaming.
I am brought back to this reality of mine.
No great thoughts fill this space.
Just me and my imagination.
I am a daydreamer by nature.
It can't be helped.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Crow's Nest

6 months has come and gone so quickly. Does anyone know where the time has gone? I wish I could describe this season to you so that you could understand where I am standing, but see the thing is that this season is unlike any other. I was sitting on the edge of our couch in our lounge trying to describe it to Kristin the one person who saw who I was before coming and the one person who is seeing me now, and it was even difficult with her. This is uncharted waters for me, at least it has been for the last 10 years. I guess what it comes down to is that I am not bitter any more. I am not angry. I put blame on no one because there is no blame to be put anywhere. The people who are in my life are people that I can open up with and share with. I am not letting what has happened in the past play a part in that. Even with those who continue to be a part of my life that have been for some time...things are changing there as well. It's freedom. It is being at a place of total contentment, but still being adventurous and having a heart willing to go out and search out these uncharted waters! It is an exciting time. It makes my heart rush at the idea of what this truly looks like. I am going "home" in 6 months. But I will make the most of my time here, because I know it is not the last of my adventures. I know it is the beginning of something new in my life. To anyone who might read this and has been impacted by my past relationships in a negative way I am sorry. I didn't know how to let go, but I have. I have let go of it all and all I can do now is move forward with a God beside me showing me and introducing me to so much. He is truly tender in that way. Taking the time, being patient with me...this is what New Zealand has been about: Patience, Willingness, and New Beginnings. I wish you could see the view from this crow's nest because it is absolutely spectacular.


This is to you my friend
As of right now we are 10,000 miles away
But it should just be a million
I know I can't rescue you
I can't save you
I can't make the pain go away
But I know who can
I know you know who can too
I think of you everyday
I think of that night often
I keep your note from that night close
I wish I could erase it from your reality
But the reality is friend it is yours and many others
You have never felt so alone
Your grief looks different
Your joy looks different
The way you are doing life looks different
But that is the thing friend
You are different
She knew that too
Nothing will ever replace the void you feel
But don't give up friend
Keep going
This is not your end
The rough days will come
The joyous ones will too
But this is not your end
But a piece of your beautiful beginning