Sunday, June 24, 2007

Phone Call

It was a simple phone call

But a few words
I said a few

You exchanged some others

I thought maybe the outcome would be different

I thought what you would have to say would bring a bit more of this heart to life

Yet you were stronger than I

You said what had to be said

You spoke the truth in love

It was true love you showed me in that phone call

No one has ever been willing to do that but family

We may never speak again

We may never talk as we once did

But I hope that one day I won't have to patient anymore

And that this love will be something that I can embrace

A love that I won't have to watch walk away

Your true love gave me a reason to grow in patience

It was a love

A Love that enabled me to stand

A Love that enabled me to rise each morning
A Love that keeps me going

I am not perfect

You knew that from the get go

You loved me enough to let me go

You loved me enough to allow me to fly

You spoke the truth

I hung up the phone in tears

I hid it well

I never wanted you to see the weak side of me

I never wanted you to see the vulnerable side of me

I sat there in that hot summers day hoping no one would see

In time I stopped crying

In time I got up and walked away

And now in this new day

Many months away

I thank you for your love

Sunday, June 17, 2007

All The Time

I live in a country where miracles are happening all the time.

I live in a country where miracles are happening all the time whether I want to believe it or not; whether I am ready to see them or not.

I live in a country where I can see 4 or more rainbows in one day and am quickly reminded of how I am taken care of.

I live in country where penguins cross the road.

I am living.

I am living in a country where miracles are happening all the time.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Culture Collision

Most of you know I enjoy movies. When living in California I more than likely always used to go to movies with people. It was the experience of seeing it with others that made it so enjoyable. I loved the the odd occasion when a few of us would go into a theatre only to find that we were the only ones there. Living in New Zealand I find that I more often go to the movies on my own. At first it felt a bit strange, but I got over that. It became a way to relax and wind down. I have a few individuals I go see movies with and again I am put back to my experiences back home that going with people is a true have people to discuss the movie with, talk to throughout it (not that I am one of those people:)), some one to be scared with or excited with. Movie experiences here and in California will never be the same to me, but I find both enjoyable for different reasons. I do suggest that theatres back home would upscale a bit like the theatres here. My Dad would be scolding me for how often I have gone to the movies here:) but it is nothing like home...movies are my retreat, my treat to myself, and a little reminder of home with a splash of New Zealand added to it. I rather enjoy it when both worlds collide.

*It would have been nice to have had company for this

film however. I kept wanting to grab the man's arm

next to me:) Didn't think he would have appreciated

that too much!

The Tear

The room surrounded her. It was cold to the core of who she was. It was a new place of learning and a new place of growth. Everything is brand new and when tries to explain it to those who love her she is at a loss for words. As she sat in her bed doing her best to keep warm she asked God for a form of expression to this new place. She stood alone but not afraid. She stood at a place of yet another crossroad. She stood willing to put her heart out. Alexandria, Alex for short, stood believing there was no place she should be then where she was, but she wondered what so much of this had been leading to. Her choices in life, the losses that had taken place, the silent joys that had been given. She had often been watching people coming into their own, getting married, writing books, pastoring churches, babies being born; she felt as though life was changing but she wasn't moving. She was here. Here in her room, in her bed, electric blanket on, thinking about how different things had turned out than what she had thought. Then it came, that form of expression, a tear. It was not just any tear, but held specific meaning. It was a tear that held joy and thanked God for where she was, it was a tear that held the prayer that she would not be alone forever but thanked God that for now she was, it was a tear that expressed that she wanted more than where she was and was willing to do whatever it took to be standing there more of God and more of herself. Alex turned off the light, snuggled down a bit farther into the bed hoping to get a bit warmer, and a adjusted her head just so to be covered enough that she still got some air while sleeping. She fell asleep thankful for the day she had been given and hoping that she would be granted with another one.