Wednesday, November 26, 2008


I love my family. Just spending these last few days with them reminds me of how far I feel down in Southern California, but one of the true joys that I feel when I am around them is that I get to see a bit more into their lives and what life is like for them on a daily basis. Today my Aunt, cousin, and myself went to one of their friend's houses to bake. It turned out to be an all day. I got a lot of great tips on what to do and what not to do when it comes to baking the most perfect pumpkin pie down to child rearing. But where I really felt I learned and got to express myself and see an even deeper side to my family was with their friend's younger daughter Susanna Rose. Can I just say thee cutest little girl! I truly wish I would have brought my camera along or a video camera, because this girl was a doll and a half and she knew it too. Susanna was adopted as a preemie drug baby. She is a about to be two years old and does not speak (as of yet). She will have issues her whole life, but this little girl was smart, funny, beautiful, and a total ham I might add. I watched as my Aunt longed in a way to have another child, saw the nurturing side to my 6 year old cousin, and realized even my own heart for the misfits in this world. Susanna will grow up to be very strong no doubt; her Mum won't let her get away with anything! She will also probably grow up to be a class clown and homecoming Queen! Family comes in many different ways; I am fortunate enough that I was born to loving parents who could not have asked for anything more in me (so they say :) ) same with my cousin. I get excited when I meet people like Kelly (Susanna's Mum) who had a heart to adopt someone like Susanna knowing her long term needs. I felt privileged to be a part of their daily routine, being able to spend time with the girls, become a bit more domestic in my ways, and relax a bit more in my own skin. Regardless of connections in this world I tend to be drawn to the fact that we are all family. It may seem a bit silly, but when it comes down to it we all originated from the same pair. I am blessed to see the world through my eyes and through the heart of a loving and compassionate God. I thought today as I woke Susanna up from her nap that it is probably often how God looks at me each and every morning. I am blessed to have family that extends beyond the DNA of my own unique family tree.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Silence and Stillness

I can't begin to find the words that I have been looking for over these last few years, but one constant concept that keeps coming around is silence and stillness. It is in these two places that I find more of myself and more of the patience and love of God that I seek on a daily basis. I am tired and my heart is tired. I am tired of calling out to God with the same plea, yet I know He is there each and every time I do and I know that my desires, hopes, and dreams are from Him and will be granted in the most perfect timing. That is...if I am willing to patient. If I am willing to stand still for a moment and to embrace the silence. To embody stillness and to stop running in the owe so many directions I like to run in.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Christmas is Coming...

Just a few of my favorite albums to bring on the Thanksgiving and Christmas season!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Rachel, Red Walls, Red Wine

So back in January when I got settled into life in Orange County again I began to make Monday nights my cooking nights. Over the summer I stopped my Monday night tradition, but decided to pick it up again last night. I had cooked over the summer, but nothing that took up too much time because I wanted to enjoy my time with friends and being outside. Now something to understand here is that I am not my Mother or Grandmother when it comes to cooking. Both of these women have an incredible sense of being able to throw something into a pot and have it come out tasting amazing...lets just say that would not happen for me. So over the last few years cook books have become great companions in the kitchen as well as starting my own recipe book with things I have tried or ideas I have gathered from friends. When I am in a book store and wandering through the cook book section I continually stumble upon Rachel's books. I love her conversational style, easy yet tasteful recipes, and the pictures (pictures ALWAYS help)!

While cooking my great pasta and veggie dish I was thinking about painting (the connection to both is that for me they are both therapeutic for me) and how much painting I did last year and how much more I want to do. Not only little canvases that hang around my room or in the back of my closet but walls. I had a really good conversation with a person who has crossed my path over time but there was a conversation we had about 3 years ago that continually is a mental image I carry with me. She explained about living life, taking chances, making changes...something like painting walls she explained. In her first big move, in her own place, she decided to go drastic and paint a key wall red. It was a vibrant beautiful color and something she thought reflected her life up to this point well. I asked her tonight if she had any red walls in her new place. She said no, but the colors she did have represented very much the same concept that her first red wall did. Metaphorically I am trying to create red walls and one day for a season I will have a red wall in my home just as a reminder of all those great metaphorical red walls I have created for myself in life.

After all my thoughts and cooking I finally had a chance to relax after a LONG Monday. I appreciate the life that has been given to me as a gift. It can be a true mess and often my "red walls" come out looking more purple than red, but hey what can you do but enjoy the view of purple walls for a season even if that is not what you meant to do!

Monday, November 10, 2008


I truly dislike being sick and not the kind of sick where you are super sick you sleep most of the day. The kind of sick that allows you to still function yet you don't quite feel yourself. It is this kind of sick that can go take a flying leap off a cliff and away from me. Can you tell I am annoyed? Yep, annoyed sick girl here who just wants to feel better.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I Liked it so I am Posting it

"You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.

You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves."

William J. H. Boetcker (1942)
(Quoted by Ronald Reagan)