As of late I can't seem to get over how I don't quite feel myself. Lately I feel as though I am catching myself having these out of body moments where I look back on myself and wonder who that girl is. There are parts of her that I cherish dearly and there are parts of her that I don't even recognize. Given I feel as though my life has been flipped upside down the last 3 months; with two house guests from New Zealand (which was lovely) and then traveling more with work I think a part of myself got a bit lost in all the shuffle. Mentally I feel exhausted and not quite sure I can keep up, but I know I will. Somehow through all of this I will find that quiet and still place. That place where I can hear the silent whisper of a voice that brings a sense of peace and restoration to a soul unlike anything else. It is in between these two worlds where I truly wish to exist one day forever.
*picture courtesy of woot
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Often I sit back in church and get really excited for those getting sent out even when it is in the local community. My heart has been driven for so long to extend myself beyond border lines, but I realize there is so much set before me and so many set before me who don't know the LOVE I know and the grace that I live in. South County excites me and even if it is a temporary summer bond between LakeHills and Rock Harbor I am ok with that, because it has just opened my eyes to being present right where I am and the willingness to shift my view this season to local rather than abroad. Here is to communities coming alongside one another and to being present to the needs that surround us.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
One of my sweeter spots in Orange County. I used to go here every Wednesday after class my sophomore year of college. It was nice to revisit the stretch of beach as I have found other beaches more centrally located to where I live, but still nice to go back to a place that I have so many wonderful memories at. Photo shoots for friends, quite times with God, conversations with friends where we challenged life and each other, a place where I could be myself, a place where we tried breaking the rules by staying past 10pm while hiding under a blanket as the coast police passed by, and a place where I grew up a bit. It is quite nice to go back to certain places only remembering the good.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Can you tell I was little excited about it? Also, this was my creative way of showing one of my best friends what kind it was since my communication skills were off in the department of describing what kind it was. Yay for new cameras and not having to wait two minutes to take pictures one right after the other!
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Ever have those moments where you know something is going to happen, regardless of how small or big; and deep down inside you are on the look out and somewhat anticipation for it? Well that was me while waiting in the Las Vegas airport.
I knew the flight home would be packed; not like my empty flight going to Vegas. There also was a guy in a military uniform who kept passing by where I had situated myself close to a window area away from the gate. Each time he passed he reminded me of the men and women I know serving our country and wondered what his story was. And that was it. I knew I was going to find out. However, there was a part of me that just didn't want to know. I was tired and worn out and just wanted to have my 30 minutes plane ride with my ipod and some shut eye. So I was determined to let the thought go. Great guy I am sure. Thanks for serving our country. But that would not be the case.
I lost sight of military man and got in line for the quick ride home. Took about 10 minutes just to make it to the door of the plane and walked myself all the way to the back of the plane where my carry on would fit up top (everything else was full by this point since the flight had been overbooked!) and low and behold the only seat left after turning my back was right next to military man.
I can't tell you how it all happened; but I can tell you that for the next 45 minutes I heard this man's incredible story. The courtship between him and his wife. His beautiful children. His heart for God. Entering the military to pay for Seminary. His thoughts on his Jewish father and Protestant mother. It was amazing. I knew something would happen and to be honest I didn't want it to happen, because I was tired. I was tired and I knew God was going to call me to do something and He did. To pray. To remember Joel's story and all that tied into it. Joel knew it too. He knew we were meant to meet even just for those brief 45 minutes. I got the chance to watch Joel be reunited with his wife and young daughter after being separated for 3 months. Can I just say it brought me to tears. God amazes me with His timing and His faithfulness. Joel and his stories were gifts to me and he and his family will not be forgotten in my prayers.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Las Vegas; it has a mind all of its own, but even in the craziness of this city I was able to have some great moments. I think one of my favorites was the last night of our business trip. We went to the Stratosphere and had dinner at the very top. It was an incredible view that gave you a whole look at the city throughout your entire dinner. Pretty cool concept if you ask me.
After these two weeks of constant travel it is nice to be back home for a few weeks, but I must say it was a welcome distraction. I have had a lot on my mind this past month and a half and my thoughts have only increased. I am a thinker by nature, always have been and probably will continue to be. So thankfully I have company coming for two weeks and another work trip down to San Diego...I am kind of banking on these distractions just so my brain can get a break from all the thinking and over-thinking that I do especially since I have gotten home!
Well off to bed, where I actually just might get some sleep; after trying to sleep in a city that surely does not sleep.