Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dedicated to the New Things of Life

Tomorrow brings with it the start of so many wonderful things. Regardless of the answers, they will be answers. Answers that give life to different avenues. Different avenues within my life. Tomorrow marks my first real official day in my new residency, a cute 1920s farmhouse. Tomorrow starts a new journey with an old friend. Tomorrow is a new day and a new month. Tomorrow is going to be a sweet day; regardless.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Forever Yet Not So Happily Ever

I can remember roughly two years ago life just felt like one big adjustment after the other. Living in a community I had once lived in before, but now more as an adult, responsible for her comings and goings. There were great adventures beginning, but also a heart that still felt a bit broken and a job I felt completely lost in. It was an interesting time in life and now as I look back I can truly see how much distance I have made from such adjustments.

I have a friend that I made over a year and a half ago at a St. Patrick's day party that is someone I look to as a great confidant in this life. She was someone that I wasn't necessarily "supposed" to become friends with, but I think it was our energy for life that allowed us to connect the way we did. For me also, it was her enthusiasm for the day to day. The love she carries for her family. Her desire for great adventures and for a great love. She is a person that I hope to glean from this whole life through, but lately she has been in a season like I was two years ago.

There is a lot of pain, a lot of tears, and a lot of unknown. Within a period of a week she was let go of  (I hate the term dumped, because with their situation it was a bit more complicated) and she was released from her teaching duties for next year's school year. I think for her right now the job loss was a shock but for the last year has been talking about seeking out other options career wise, even the possibility of moving out of the country. It has been her grief in "losing" this guy that has struck a cord within me. The hurt that is now forever going to be a part of her. Yes, she will one day allow someone in and that someone will ask for her hand in marriage, but it has been these little "incidental" griefs that she never expected (really when do we ever expect them), but often happen,  that will forever be with her and will shape and create her to become more of the woman she is. This is a part of her forever and maybe not the happiest part of her forever, but a part of it.

I am an encourager by nature, but this area in particular. I have known great love and not such great love. I have known pain and grief so much so that I had hoped life would just end as I stayed crawled up in my bed for days on end it seemed. But new days come and we bounce back in a way that I think is truly amazing to the human heart and soul. She is truly someone that I love dearly and hope this season passes quickly for her; because I know for someone like her, living life this way just limits what the world can be offered through her and she has so much offer. So to you my friend, I will keep reminding you that I am right here, bring you hydration for those long days in bed, and remind you that new days do come even if you have lost the belief in that.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The Distance

The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away
I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time you're comin' back

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin your name

But I can't take the distance

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin' your name

I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side I'd do anything
I can't take the distance

I will go the distance
I will go the miles
That's how much you mean to me

'Cause I can't take the distance
I can't take these miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm calling your name
I can't take the distance

It's hard to remember
As long as you're away
When I find solace
There's only one way

~Evan and Jaron

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Library View

I found this corner of the library when I went exploring around sometime back in college. It is an open space with a couple of chairs and power outlets (always helpful when your computer is about to die), but most of all it has windows that look out towards the ocean. Now I didn't get a great shot, but you can see the trees and just beyond the trees is the ocean.

I love coming to this spot. It helps me relax and is situated in an environment that helps me focus, which was my whole intention today, to focus. I took my laptop, some great tunes from the boy, and situated myself in my little corner overlooking the trees and ocean and just wrote. Maybe not my greatest work, but I made the time and space to do it. I haven't picked up my writing like this in months and I felt so out of practice but as the minutes turned into hours it came back to me. What I like about what I am currently writing is that I can just "wing it" in this draft section. Write whatever comes to my mind and put it down. It will be later on when I go through and dissect and fix details and errors.

I hate that I haven't made any time for this in my life, but hopefully that is all about change. Because this library is situated quite closely to where I will be moving in the next few weeks and to top it off they are open till 9pm on weeknights! It was all rather exciting information for me to discover today.

So there you have it, a glimpse of my beautiful day full of writing, views, old books, and the contentedness to not be rushing off. I adore these days...

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

It's Official

My Esty site is up!

Now it may not be the most perfect shop out there, but hey, at least it is a start right? Starting small and we will see where we go from here. Exciting times ahead for sure...