Saturday, June 12, 2010
Forever Yet Not So Happily Ever
I can remember roughly two years ago life just felt like one big adjustment after the other. Living in a community I had once lived in before, but now more as an adult, responsible for her comings and goings. There were great adventures beginning, but also a heart that still felt a bit broken and a job I felt completely lost in. It was an interesting time in life and now as I look back I can truly see how much distance I have made from such adjustments.
I have a friend that I made over a year and a half ago at a St. Patrick's day party that is someone I look to as a great confidant in this life. She was someone that I wasn't necessarily "supposed" to become friends with, but I think it was our energy for life that allowed us to connect the way we did. For me also, it was her enthusiasm for the day to day. The love she carries for her family. Her desire for great adventures and for a great love. She is a person that I hope to glean from this whole life through, but lately she has been in a season like I was two years ago.
There is a lot of pain, a lot of tears, and a lot of unknown. Within a period of a week she was let go of (I hate the term dumped, because with their situation it was a bit more complicated) and she was released from her teaching duties for next year's school year. I think for her right now the job loss was a shock but for the last year has been talking about seeking out other options career wise, even the possibility of moving out of the country. It has been her grief in "losing" this guy that has struck a cord within me. The hurt that is now forever going to be a part of her. Yes, she will one day allow someone in and that someone will ask for her hand in marriage, but it has been these little "incidental" griefs that she never expected (really when do we ever expect them), but often happen, that will forever be with her and will shape and create her to become more of the woman she is. This is a part of her forever and maybe not the happiest part of her forever, but a part of it.
I am an encourager by nature, but this area in particular. I have known great love and not such great love. I have known pain and grief so much so that I had hoped life would just end as I stayed crawled up in my bed for days on end it seemed. But new days come and we bounce back in a way that I think is truly amazing to the human heart and soul. She is truly someone that I love dearly and hope this season passes quickly for her; because I know for someone like her, living life this way just limits what the world can be offered through her and she has so much offer. So to you my friend, I will keep reminding you that I am right here, bring you hydration for those long days in bed, and remind you that new days do come even if you have lost the belief in that.