Tuesday, December 28, 2010


I think I am on a kick with lyrics lately...they just do a much better of job of expressing what it is that I want to, but can't.

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong he'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

~Safe; Phil Wickham 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Tis the Season

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

~Hallelujah; Susan Boyle

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Road Map Through Life

When talking with my friends about my life, I have always explained that I tend to look for others that have a similar story line going, because that way I will know how things turn out. Now obviously this is a silly way to go through life, because the reality is my life will never quite look like theirs. It will look like mine and therefore I am going to have to trust the steps that I take to be ones that propel me forward not backwards.

Lately, I am making a lot of forward steps, so much so that everything seems new, there is no familiarity, and there are no signs that anyone around me has walked this road to give me a glimmer of hope that was is to come is well worth it. I can talk a good game of change and like I have written here so many times, change can be such a great thing and like a breath of refresh air, but when it happens all it once, in every aspect of my life I can't help but get scared just a little.

I had a good conversation with God about this just this morning. It started off with me apologizing for not writing enough or investing in the relationship like I should, but I knew He understood, because I know that He knows me better than I do, and through this conversation of sorts I came to the conclusion that I get in the way of myself. I know who I am and who I was created to be, so rather than leaning into fear or the road maps of others I must lean into faith and the knowledge of who I am and who I have been created to be. As my life has continued on, I over the years, have been able to pin point my strengths and what I am gifted in, and now I have to start moving in those and walking in that hope that God has given me through them.

I read a lot and I write a lot and because of these two elements I love to know the ending. I think I apply the same perspective to my own life, I want to know how it ends, but for my life's aspect I think a part of that is propelled by fear. So rather than being propelled by fear I must be propelled by joy and learning to live better in the present moments I have been given rather than rushing through the "pages" to discover the ending.

I would have loved at around 15 for God to have given me a road map for where I was supposed to go and the choices I should make, but He loves me more than that. He loved me enough to let me fly and to ultimately have to make the day to day choice to trust Him and trust that I can make the good and sound choices of "right" or "left", staying in Southern California for the first year of marriage or moving to Portland (just an example) :)

This conversation with God won't end today though. I'm still scared, but I know His peace will surpass my fear and that will be enough to get through the next "right" or "left".