Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Journey to the North

There is something to be said for having the opportunity to travel. I enjoy the packing part and figuring out what little I can bring (it is a challenge to myself), jumping in a car or catching the next plane out. I get a thrill out of seeing new places, meeting new people, having new experiences. In some ways this is probably a challenge to me as well. It challenges me not to get caught up in my own box and my own way of thinking. I have to take into account those surrounding me and what is "normal" to them.

I flew up to Washington (state) yesterday morning and have already had a wonderful visit with Kristin. We always tend to meet the most open and friendly people when we are together. We met Dale the art salesman, Weston the Starbucks employee, Sharon the friendly Washington woman all within the last 24 hours. We get a kick out of the people we meet and the stories we get to hear.

I feel a bit more refreshed getting this chance to travel and stretch my wings a bit. Living in Orange County is wonderful, but I know the heart of the matter is that I just don't seem to fit in that type of world. I can make it work and I can excel within it (by God's grace) but I feel suffocated in the process. I think over the years I have become a wanderer. Maybe I was this way my whole life I just so often fought it because I wanted to fit in wherever I went. Now maybe I have come to the understanding that I am never going to fit in the way the world tells me I should.

Washington is beautiful even with snow covering most of it at the current moment. Now off to visit Vancouver and see what adventures we can have up there!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas at Home

So tomorrow morning I get to make the wonderful 4 1/2 hour journey up the coast to the place I spent the first 18 years of my life. I treasure this place so much and I treasure it even more because of how consistently I am told it is one of the most beautiful places in California. And the more I think about it the more I have to agree. I am fortunate enough to return to a house filled with many wonderful memories and to a family that I love dearly.

It is going to rain Christmas Eve, but it is my hope it snows and there is a true possibility it could! Our house is at a high enough elevation that it has snowed before when it gets cold enough. The last time it snowed and left inches of snow to play in was when I was about 4 years old. People who love the snow and have lived in the area for a while will recall those moments with great fondness and with a tone that speaks, they hope it happens again.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Regardless of where you are in the world; I hope this season is filled with love, laughter, and moments of great joy as we celebrate the season in which we celebrate a birth that would forever change the history of the world.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Only You

Take my heart, I lay it down

At the feet

of You who's crowned

Take my life

Letting go

I lift it up

to You who's throned

And I will worship You, Lord

Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You

Only You, Lord

Take my fret, take my fear

All I have I'm leaving here

Be all my hopes, be all my dreams

You're my delights

Be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord

Only You, Lord

And I will bow down before You

Only You, Lord

And I will worship You, Lord

Only You, Lord

And I will, I will bow down before You

Only You, Lord

And it's just You and me here now

Only You and me here now

And it's just You and me here now

Only You and me here now

You should see the view

When it's only You

Sometimes when you allow certain words to sweep over you again and again you begin to truly believe them and embrace them. I laughed at the thought last night as I put this song on repeat to fall asleep to and thought of how my college roommates/friends would have totally detested me for it. Yet, I am so desperate for the reminder and believing that even my sleep can be impacted by the truth.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Old Hollywood

I grew up watching Van Johnson across the screen laughing at his very funny comedian style and admiring his ever serious roles as well. I knew he was getting old and know that no one lasts forever here...still doesn't take away the sting that death can have sometimes.

Friday, December 05, 2008


I think often some of my best writing happens at night in my dreams. I come up with the most witty comebacks, most expressive poems, and I am the most raw and open me. I don't hold back and I am not afraid of what others may think of my words.

I wrote a really good poem in my dream the other night. I remember the feeling attached to it when I woke up, a feeling of satisfaction too bad though I couldn't remember the exact words once I woke up. That part always seems to be the disheartening part. That I am actually quite good at something in my dreams, but the reality is a bit disappointing when I wake up. I wonder why God created dreaming. I think when I arrive in heaven it will be one of my top 10 questions to ask Him (not that it will really matters at that point in time, but for now I like to think it does). "How does dreaming actually work and what was your intention behind it?" Yup, definitely in my top 10.

The poem, I do remember was about a boy I haven't seen in ages. I wondered how he was doing and what he was doing. I told him I cared about him, because our last conversation really made me come across as one who did not. The words were just right and made the most expressive picture. I guess I just have to keep trying to make it a reality and not a dream.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Thanksgiving At Its Finest

I love it when we get together because through all of our ups and downs as a family we always know how to have a good time. Sometimes I forget how much I am like them and when I get around them it is a sweet reminder that I do belong, even if the belonging is temporary. I am thankful for this crazy Italian French family!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


This is my New Year's destination and I could not be more excited about it.