Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Tear

The room surrounded her. It was cold to the core of who she was. It was a new place of learning and a new place of growth. Everything is brand new and when tries to explain it to those who love her she is at a loss for words. As she sat in her bed doing her best to keep warm she asked God for a form of expression to this new place. She stood alone but not afraid. She stood at a place of yet another crossroad. She stood willing to put her heart out. Alexandria, Alex for short, stood believing there was no place she should be then where she was, but she wondered what so much of this had been leading to. Her choices in life, the losses that had taken place, the silent joys that had been given. She had often been watching people coming into their own, getting married, writing books, pastoring churches, babies being born; she felt as though life was changing but she wasn't moving. She was here. Here in her room, in her bed, electric blanket on, thinking about how different things had turned out than what she had thought. Then it came, that form of expression, a tear. It was not just any tear, but held specific meaning. It was a tear that held joy and thanked God for where she was, it was a tear that held the prayer that she would not be alone forever but thanked God that for now she was, it was a tear that expressed that she wanted more than where she was and was willing to do whatever it took to be standing there more of God and more of herself. Alex turned off the light, snuggled down a bit farther into the bed hoping to get a bit warmer, and a adjusted her head just so to be covered enough that she still got some air while sleeping. She fell asleep thankful for the day she had been given and hoping that she would be granted with another one.

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