Friday, March 21, 2008

Quality Human Being

So over the past few weeks my human nature has been made ever so clear in my eyes. Now, I would have to say for my life and who I am developing into this is one of the most difficult and humbling lessons to learn. It knocks me from whatever high horse I happen to be sitting upon and to the reality that I still have HEAPS of issues to work on. Several key individuals in my life have pointed out these issues to me and for the last month I have been throwing around these thoughts in my head. Now, because of how human and sinful I am, I have my days where these thoughts do in fact cripple me. But then I have my days where I wake up and I am reminded that I am God's and, yes, I am not going to get it right, say it right, or do it is a slow growth (Ephesians 4:13-16) I take to heart what has been presented to me and where I need to die to self and live in Christ. ARGH! This is such a hard lesson!! But today was one of those days where I woke (in a rush I might add) and time just stopped for a moment as I remembered what today represented for me as a daughter, a daughter of God, and the history in which I come from. All my selfish desires, bad attitudes, demeaning thoughts, accusations, and judgments fell upon one man and not only mine but everyones. Today is a day that I remembered that I am not a quality human being, but there is one who came that was quality and far more than that. And because of His perfection I am forgiven. I am going to get this wrong far more than I am going to get it right, but I am not alone in this journey. I do not have to walk it alone in my own wretchedness. Because of another's sacrifice and willingness to lay down as a lamb to the slaughter I am made new. To those who read this and know me personally, I am sorry. I am so far from where I know I should be. Yet, I live in the hope that where my humanness has caused you a certain level of ache that He, the LORD, would restore.

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