To All The Boys Who Break Girls Hearts

*(And let me preface this with, I do know that girls to break boys hearts, but this little blip is specifically dedicated to the other way around.)

We often find you foolish, mean, and down right hurtful. However, let me make myself very clear most of us don't die like you think we do. We are talented, beautiful, and full of life. What may feel as though an eternity to us will not last and one day in the midst of living our lives, it's gone. The hurt and the pain that has robbed us of but a few moments (in all reality) is gone. You shape us to be even more exquisite then when you first encountered us. I feel sorry for those of you who continue to live your heartbreaking ways, but to those of you who learn from it I hope you learn to love in a deeper and far more meaningful way and are in turn loved back unconditionally.

Optimist vs. Realist

I often struggle with this concept; optimism vs. reality. Countless conversations I have been having lately in my work environment leave me thinking to myself that things will possibly never change and that I might as well get used to this because for now this is how it is going to be. Back in the day I used to find myself being quite the optimist, but I took a "test" that classified me as a realist. Maybe it's for the best that I take on this mind set. But I can't help the thought that I would love to see change come about and not have to be doing it on my own (or what feels like I am on my own). Maybe most of who I am is a realist, but at the core of who I am, I am a true optimist.

Just my mid-afternoon thoughts...

Memories of Days Gone Past

So back in 2002 I moved down to Southern California to attend college. I was scared. I put on the brave face to all my friends and family back home that I was this grown up, independent woman, who had nothing but adventure before her. Inside I was terrified and could not believe that I was actually doing this and if there was any way possible for me to get out of making this life altering move that it would happen, but it didn't.

So late in August I moved to Costa Mesa, CA with my parents in tow to help me get sorted and to see where I would be attending school for the next four years (at least that's what they thought, I knew better). About two days later we hugged in the parking lot adjacent to my dorm building, as we said our goodbyes and our comforting words that we would see each other soon I felt like I was ripping in half. I watched them drive away and it took everything in me to at least make it to the back door of the dorm building without collapsing in tears.

I made it.

Crawled up four flights of stairs, basically crawled down a hall, and made it too my room. Thank goodness my new roommate was out with her parents shopping for last minute room decor (it would have been an even harder transition having my roommate think I was crazy).

My world stopped for a moment that day. However, it kept going and I made good on those four years (because my parents actually knew better) by having one of the most life altering, adventuring seeking, college experiences ever.

Ashley (who is with me below) had a similar experience; we lived on the same floor, lived together at several points during college and have been friends for 7 years now; and it wasn't until tonight that we discovered with both felt the same exact way our first few weeks of college. Funny how we keep things inside and hold onto them. It would have been so much easier to know that there were others sitting in that boat along side me, but having gone through it has made me stronger, more adept to trusting God when pieces of my life are ripped away from me, and made me realize that the things I know I must forge ahead in (even though they may scare me a bit) are ultimately the best things that could have ever happened to me.

Here's to you my friend; may we often be placed in these moments of life altering and adventuring seeking seasons!

Bring It!

I have a strange sort of feeling that I am staring a huge storm in the eye. Back in the day when this season approached I would always find myself becoming nervous and wondering if I would make it to the end, but as more and more of these seasons have passed through my life I now know I can take on a lot more than I ever thought. So when I stare this season/storm in the face all I can say is, "bring it on", because I know its not going away, so I might as well deal with it, learn from it, and hopefully pass through it not too terribly beat up.

Makes Me Laugh

I don't know if this has ever happened to you were you chose something because you genuinely liked it and then all of the sudden it became the new "fad". I can remember a couple of times this happening to me. One in particular instance was when I was in junior high and I wanted to re-do my bedroom from the red, pink, and white theme to a sunflowers with a rich royal blue accent. My Mum and I went on this grand big hunt to find sunflower items and because we couldn't find much we ended up creating a lot of the stuff ourselves. Once the room was finished about a month later sunflowers were the new "it" item and were everywhere! My Mum liked to make the comment from then on out that I was an "it" girl. Same thing goes here (sort of)! Yes, I had seen Lord of the Rings and thought it was a beautiful country, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would get the chance to move there. Well, looks as though Air New Zealand is promoting that dream to people! http://www.thematchmakingflight.com/ Quite the deal they have going! I am so interested to know the kinds of people who will be doing this! And what kind of stories will come from promoting an event like this! :)

Good Morning Reality

Good morning reality nice to see you again, kind of. You are that solid foundation that I often wake up to and even though you may be my reality I know you can always change. You can be as daunting or as welcoming as I choose to make you. You are an ever present reminder to continue to moving forward and to continue to chase after my other dreams that I hope one day will be my reality. Until then, good morning my reality for the day. Hopefully we can work together to make it a great day.