Let me just start by saying that I had a great plan for when I got home from New Zealand. It was to sleep and not think. To sleep as long as my body possibly needed and to shut out the world for a few days and recharge my battery. Needless to say I got part of my wish; I got one solid night of sleep as well as getting to shut out the world while I attempted to make sense of the fact that I had to move out of what had been my home the last two years in just under a week.
Through circumstances unpreventable to my roommate and I we had to be out by March 1st. Did I mention I got this news 4 hours after landing? In my head I had to act fast, because I knew it was the goal to truly be out of the house before March 1st. Within 24 hours a girlfriend of mine and I had a place. She was struggling at her current place and is planning a wedding for August, so when we came together we decided to move into a place that her and her fiance will be calling home, which in turn means another move for me (but that is not what this entry is about...lets just take it one move at a time :)).
So over the last week I pretty much left my New Zealand bags packed, and starting grabbing boxes from work, friends, and packing up my little world. I knew 2010 was going to hold a lot of change, but I don't think my brain was in the place to start right away, but isn't that how life works sometimes? We aren't entirely ready but we get pushed out there and just have to jump and hope for the best?
I think towards the end of last year I started to question where I was standing, where I was going, and what tangible things really needed to change in my life. If this had been my choice I would have eased into it, like when you get into a spa, you don't just jump right in, you ease your way in. I like to think about things, then plan, then execute. But this is my year to just jump right in and embrace the unknown all while yelling "come on in the waters fine" :) The great thing about it all is that I know I am not alone. I have a God who has stood by me and provided in ways that I didn't even know how to ask for provision. I have great, loyal, and funny friends who are willing to jump right in the water with me and wade through whatever may come next, because believe me I know there is more to come.
I challenged God many nights ago in a courtyard looking up at the stars that I did not want to live a "cookie cutter" life and in some ways I wish I could take it back. "Cookie cutter" is safe, secure, and has a certain level of consistency that I crave. But He didn't listen and in other ways I am glad He didn't. My life is very much its own level of "cookie cutterness" to keep me sane, but it is moments and seasons like this that remind me I am very much apart of this life and I have a purpose and I need to wake up and embrace it or else I am going to have woken up and life will have just passed me by.