Friday, October 09, 2009
Change of Plans
I find that I am not always the most open and black and white when it comes to my blog entries. I leave a lot of wiggle room and I leave a lot left to the imagination. Maybe this is my style and maybe I am just learning to be honest with myself.
One honest fact about myself is that I always wanted to get married when I was 22. It's true. I remember being in the 8th grade and at my Aunt Sharon's wedding. All day everyone kept asking me when I was going to get married (why on earth they would be asking a 14 year old when she would be getting married is beyond me, but they did). I answered straight faced, "when I am 22." And with that answer I proceeded to explain my logic and reason behind it. I would have enjoyed a bit of my 20s (all two years of them yippee) and I would have been finished with college by that point and on my own.
Man oh man; had only my 26 year old self been there to witness the innocence of a child. I now look back on the last 4 years of my life and can not help but be thankful for the time I have been given. Now don't get me wrong, I still want to get married and experience that part of life (be it the many ups and downs that it will bring), but for me there is something to be said about what an adventure this has been and how much I have grown. I have drastically changed over the last 4 years and a change that I truly hope has been for the better. I look back when I was 22 and really I just felt as though I was starting (and lets face it, I still feel this way some days) but I feel as though I am more of a whole person now than I was back then.
I think this is often the case for many of us. We have a goal and we go after it, but once the goal or time line has passed we feel a bit out of place. I know I did when I was 23. 23 was a weird, odd, and yet beautiful year for me. It was the year that I had never imagined for or truly prepared for and when it arrived it felt as though every day was a surprise. I may put in my two cents with God when it comes to the "change of plans" but I have to say He really does know what He is doing and because of that I am more willing to go on the detour.